If you know someone is being abused...

It can be very hard if you have a friend who is being abused and they ask you to keep it a secret. Try not to promise anyone that you won’t tell about child abuse. If you have already promised, it’s great that you want to be a loyal friend and keep your promise...but this is not a secret to be kept. If your friend is being abused or neglected, his or her life may be in danger (even if it doesn’t seem like it). The best thing would be if you could convince your friend to tell an adult. But if he or she won’t, it’s really important for you to tell an adult so that your friend can get the help he or she needs. Your friend might get mad at you, but you will actually be helping - not hurting - him or her. You could say something like this: “I know I promised to keep a secret, but you are too important to me to keep this secret - I want you to be safe and happy.” If you are worried someone is being abused or have questions about what to do, you can call your state’s child abuse telephone number and talk to someone who can help. You don’t have to tell them any names unless you feel comfortable.

If you are being abused by a family member...

It’s really hard if someone you care about is hurting you. However, no one deserves to be hurt, including YOU. We know that it can be really hard to tell someone if you are being abused. Some of the reasons kids say it was hard to tell are:

the person hurting them is someone they care about and they are afraid the person will get into trouble
other members of the family will be upset
they are worried that the person they tell won’t believe them and may even be angry
they think it was their fault
they feel embarrassed or ashamed
they are afraid other people will find out
they are afraid the person who abused them will hurt them more or hurt someone or something they love

Even though it’s hard, it’s very important to try to get help for yourself and/or your brothers and sisters. If you tell a caring adult, he or she will most likely try to help you by calling the child protection agency in your state, or you can call them yourself (click here for phone numbers). They will usually send out a social worker who can help the person who is hurting you get the help that he or she needs to stop hurting you and to take better care of you. Social workers do everything they can to try to help families and keep them together; you will only be taken out of your home if it is absolutely necessary in order to keep you safe. Sometimes, kids want to be taken out of their homes or want the people abusing them to go to jail...you can tell the social worker if this is the case.

If you are being abused by someone outside your family...

It can also be very hard if are being abused or have been abused by someone outside your immediate family. Some of the reasons kids say it was hard to tell are very similar to the reasons mentioned above. These include:

the abuser is a trusted friend of yours or your family
you think no one will believe you and people will get mad at you
the abuser will say you made it up
the abuser will get into trouble
the abuser will get mad and try to get even
it’s very embarrassing
you think it’s your fault

Even though it is hard, it’s very important in any kind of abuse situation to try to get help for yourself. Sometimes you can ask your parents for help or another trusted adult or older teenager. You can also call the child protection agency in your state (click here for phone numbers) and talk with them; they can help you figure out what to do. You don’t have to give them any names until you feel comfortable.

 

The following is a list of State child abuse phone numbers. If your State is not on the list, or if you are calling for a friend in a different State, you can call 1-800-4-A-Child (1-800-422-4453).

Alaska (AK)
1-800-478-4444

Arizona (AZ)
1-888-SOS-CHILD
(1-888-767-2445)

Arkansas (AR)
1-800-482-5964

Connecticut (CT)
1-800-842-2288
1-800-624-5518 (TDD/hearing impaired)

Delaware (DE)
1-800-292-9582

Florida (FL)
1-800-96-ABUSE
(1-800-962-2873)

Illinois (IL)
1-800-252-2873

Indiana (IN)
1-800-800-5556

Iowa (IA)
1-800-362-2178

Kansas (KS)
1-800-922-5330

Kentucky (KY)
800-752-6200

Maine (ME)
800-452-1999

Maryland (MD)
800-332-6347

Massachusetts (MA)
800-792-5200

Michigan (MI)
800-942-4357

Mississippi (MS)
800-222-8000

Missouri (MO)
800-392-3738

Montana (MT)
800-332-6100

Nebraska (NE)
800-652-1999

Nevada (NV)
800-992-5757

New Hampshire (NH)
800-894-5533

New Jersey (NJ)
800-792-8610
800-835-5510 (TDD/hearing impaired)

New Mexico (NM)
800-797-3260

 

New York (NY)
800-342-3720

North Dakota (ND)
800-245-3736

Oklahoma (OK)
800-522-3511

Oregon (OR)
800-854-3508, ext. 2402

Pennsylvania (PA)
800-932-0313

Rhode Island (RI)
800-RI-CHILD
(800-742-4453)

Texas (TX)
800-252-5400

Utah (UT)
800-678-9399

Virginia (VA)
800-552-7096

Washington (WA)
800-562-5624

West Virginia (WV)
800-352-6513

Wyoming (WY)
800-457-3659

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Last Updated: June 23, 2003